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"As I made the
motion to slice his throat, the razor blade caught on the guy's shirt
and flipped out of my fingers." |
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Marcus |
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My demise began when I was in the
second grade. I started smoking cigarettes. I remember being very
curious, and struggling to fit in. I tried marijuana when I was
fourteen, and soon after, I got a job at a gas station, where I began
stealing and consuming alcohol. Once I started drinking, I couldn't stop
and became uncontrollable. I eventually gave up alcohol and concentrated
on marijuana.
My problems escalated when I got a car. I could drive wherever I needed
to go without having to rely on anyone to take me there. The car also
allowed me to become a successful drug dealer, and opened the door to
harder drugs, such as crack cocaine. Upon my introduction to crack, I
was told I would be entering a whole new world. I wasn't sure exactly
what that phrase meant until I took the first hit and was addicted from
the start. Everything I did revolved around smoking crack, and I hated
the chaos that immediately threatened to overtake me. After a four month
crack binge, I tried to give it up, and I did, but only for a short
time.
However, it seemed the harder I tried, the more miserable and
out-of-control I became. Next, I was introduced to crystal meth. I
remember one time I stayed up for 7 straight days, living wherever I
could. Eventually, I moved into an apartment in a very dangerous part of
town. I continued to sell drugs, but that was soon to end. It was hard
for me to make enough money to support my habit. The more I sold, the
more crack I smoked.
Shortly after I exhausted the last of my supply of cocaine, 4 guys came
to my apartment. I had a small amount of weed left to sell, and that was
the last of it. That's why these guys had come, but they did not intend
to pay for the drugs. Realizing they were going to rob me, I looked all
around for a weapon. I snatched up the razor blade I had used to cut up
the cocaine. When one of the guys grabbed the weed, I ran after him,
jumped on his back, and held the razor blade to his neck. I really
wanted to kill him. He was trying to take my livelihood, my only means
of survival. As I made the motion to slice his throat, the razor blade
caught on the guy's shirt and flipped out of my fingers. Before I knew
it, I was lying on the ground with a gun to my face. This was the second
time I had been robbed at gun point. The guy decided not to kill me. He
and his friends went through my wallet to take whatever I had left. I
knew people got shot in my neighborhood all the time, but for some
reason, it was not my turn.
I had nothing left, no food, no money, and no drugs. I was left only
with a strong sense of worthlessness and total despair. I called my
parents and asked them to help me. I told them I wanted to change, and I
really did. I entered the doors of Appalachian Teen Challenge a
destitute young man. I was broken, ashamed, and full of guilt. I know
the Lord spared my life numerous times, and the Holy Spirit led me to
Teen Challenge. Since I have been here, God has forgiven me and given me
the peace I had always been searching for, but could never find in a
crack pipe or a bottle. The program at Appalachian Teen Challenge has
also taught me responsibility, discipline, and work ethics. I am finally confident that my future is full of hope
and promise, which comes from the love of Jesus Christ. |
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